Oh my stars.

Sometimes when I'm up late and flipping through the channels I come across E! Now, E!, for me, is known for a few things: ridiculous documentaries on every celebrity who's ever been a little bit famous, E! news, The soup (which is an exception to E's otherwise stained reputation) and fashion police--in which Joan River's hosts (I don't know if you're all familiar with Joan Rivers, but let me sum her up for you in a few words: old, obnoxious, invalidly opinionated).

Since the Teen Choice Awards came on Sunday night, I expect there to be a Fashion Police episode soon (if it hasn't already happened) addressing the madness on the "Blue Carpet." So, before ole' joan has a chance to open that big mouth of hers I wanted to get out a few out MY thoughts.

WORST DRESSED.

DEAR AVRIL: Do you know that you are now 26? I know that you don't enjoy the way things are when they're complicated, but see, the way you dressed that night makes me frustrated (see what I did there?) But srsly. Don't dress like a 19 year old. I know you're still angsty, but there's no need to express your lingering punk rock dreams on the carpets of hollywood. Grow up.

Cory Monteith...what are we going to do with you. I realize the artsy, fashionable boy look is in right now, and I respect your efforts. However, I didn't even know they made pants in a color that looks like (if it were crayola) it could be named chicken nugget. Also: they fit kind of ill, and they don't go with the rest of your outfit. Cohesion is not on your side my friend. Be a little more relaxed next time.

TYRA. JUST BECAUSE you host America' s Next Top Model (forever and always) does NOT mean everything that you wear is fierce. EXHIBIT A SHOWN ABOVE. A skin tight, leather jumpsuit does not scream, "I AM SO FRESH, AND SO CLEAN CLEAN." Instead it screams, "I AM TRYING WAY TOO HARD TO BE YOUNG AND A MODEL AND HOT." You are not hot in this, Ty. In fact, the only reason that word might be used is because your color scheme is fireman-esque. Burn.

Fergie, I'm not sure whether you tripped and fell into Lisa Frank's bucket-o-fun, or if you honestly thought you looked out of this world. What is it with black and yellow being the suck color scheme of the night, eh? I mean, generally those colors look awesome together. Anyway, I just don't see anything fantastic or unique about this dress except for the ridiculous print (and that is only memorable because how unfortunate it is). Keep on tryin fergie-ferg.

 BEST DRESSED.

Blake Lively--I am nearly positive that you make my best dressed list EVERY TIME you chasse down the red carpet. The color choice of the dress is SO bold, but still compliments your skin tone and hair, and you definitely did it well by pairing it with a pair of leopard print stilettos and accentuating your waist with that skinny belt. Super classy, super sassy.

OH Shaun White. You look FINE (pronounced FOINE in this context). You did it right pairing the black skinnies with the boots (if Corey would have done something like this his look would have been a lot less disjointed). Also, the relaxed nature of the button up, sleeves rolled up, and top buttons open makes for a cool, easy going vibe (and I'm going to say that personifies you to a T. So, way to achieve, champ). Call me.

This dress could NOT have been any more perfect on Ashley Benson. The mock-turtle neck balances out the shortness of the dress (i.e. LEGS!) and the design of the fabric is rockin. Good call accessorizing with a black clutch and some black platform stilettos. She might be my favorite from the whole night. Black and yellow: you're doing it right. 

Kelly Cuoco looked like an angel in this tiered white dress. It's not too fancy for the occasion, but definitely made her stand out. I think she looks incredibly elegant, chic, and stylish. There's not much more to say about this look than that she hit it right on the head. Minimal accessories are definitely working with it as well

Admittedly, That was probably too much fun.

Until next time,

Lo